I'm not really the kind of person who has ever set goals. Maybe it's because no one has ever expected much our of me? It's just not something I did in the past. I think I never thought I'd amount to much anyway so I figured I didn't need to think about the future.
My least favorite question in interviews is "where do you see yourself in five years". I never had an answer because I never think that far ahead. I live day to day and that has always seemed fine to me. Then one day I just felt like I needed something to aspire to. I have done ok for myself but I could always do better.
There has to be something for me to work towards. Without goals I feel like I'll never be driven to do anything with myself. There's a weird need for me to accomplish something more then I already have. This feeling has never been around before. Twenty-nine has brought so many weird new feelings and thoughts into my world. I'm not sure if it is because I dreaded thirty so much that I want to make sure that I lose all these "bad" habits before or what but it's kind of nice. It's almost like I"m nesting for turning thirty instead of for having a child.
I now have a list of things I want to do. Not just tomorrow or this month but in the next five years and in my life. I haven't been able to take many of the steps to make these things happen yet but it will all fall into place eventually. Now that I have the goals I need to learn how to make them happen.
*Kelly, Tissy, and I in Newport 1997
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