I have spent all my life being very pessimistic. Even though I knew it affected people I never really realized how much it sucked until recently. My life has been a rough one with many long hard roads and I let that control how I felt far too long.
If I had a bad morning I would surely have a bad afternoon and usually a bad evening too. I know I did this to myself and I wish I would have realized a decade ago that you really can be in charge of how you feel in most situations. I think it was just easier to stay down and feel sorry for myself rather then search for the good that is going on in my life. Focusing on the bad that happened and remember all the bad before that is such a bad habit to have.
I've always said I'm glad to have had a "rough" childhood because it made me a stronger person. I'm capable of doing pretty much anything on my own and don't rely on people for much. Being like this has made me cold though. I have used all these bad things as an excuse to be ok with being miserable. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this but I finally did.
Now when something bad happens I just tell myself that it's not the end of the world. I remind myself it could always be worse and that I control how I feel about it. Sure I still have days where I just can't bump out of the funk right away but they are far and fewer between now then they ever have been before. I'm a work in progress ;)
*Me camping in 2010
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