Day 1 - Success

I have dreaded turning thirty since the day I turned twenty-nine. Why is thirty so damn scary to me? It's just a number after all and I shouldn't let just that bring me down. Thirty, it's half way to sixty, which is ancient in my eyes but I supposed there was a time when I felt thirty was ancient as well. Really I'm just scared by the fact that I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in thirty years.

I have no career, no husband, no children, a POS car, and am renting a home which I share with my cousin. Do these things really make a person successful though? The closer I get to thirty the more I try to convince myself that they don't and I think I'm finally starting to believe it. Why does my idea of success have to be the same idea others?

I've still got another thirty to forty years of working in me so who cares if I don't have a steady career? I've worked in lots of different positions and have lots of experience and I think it's nice to have sampled different jobs so that I'm not stuck doing a boring job for decades on end. I do plan on going back to school to get my degree in accounting since I have been doing it for awhile now and like it a lot. Once I've got that done I'll feel much better. For now I'm just going to appreciate that I have the ability to work.

Since my mother started young I guess I always figured that I'd be married with kids by now as well. That just wasn't my path I suppose. In ways I'm glad I'm not tied down to a husband and kids. I like to do what I want when I want but it would be nice to have that extra love that comes with having them. My life is full of wonderful people who love me and the good thing about that is I won't have to worry about paying for a divorce or college :)

All in all I feel successful in my life without the things that are normally are equated to success. I've always said I'd rather be broke and happy then rich and miserable. I may not be able to afford to take crazy trips all around the world (nor do I have any desire to) but I have a lot of fun and to me that's just as important.

Thirty is going to be a new chapter for me. I believe it's going to be the year that things start getting even better for me in life, love, and friendship. I have a more positive attitude then I ever have in my life and I'm going to role with it. So day one of the countdown has begun and I'm embracing it!