Where so I even start with this topic? I started drinking at the ripe age of thirteen. It started with Zima and ice cream and for years after that my relationship with alcohol was a tricky one.
I think a lot of teens experiment with drinking but I hope they don't start as young as I did. I could drink and drink and drink and would barely get buzzed. This went on for years. It was really weird and my friends didn't believe me but what did they know, they were drunk lol I would often buy a fifth of peach vodka and just drink it on the rocks. I'd finish the whole bottle myself and still be "normal". I don't even want to know the amount of alcohol I have put in my body!
At first drinking was just for partying for me. Then I started to drink when I was depressed. Soon after that the anxiety started and I would drink so I wouldn't have anxiety for things. I'm the first to admit I haven't always had a healthy relationship with booze. Drinking is liquid courage and who doesn't want to feel free?
As I got older I would actually get drunk. I didn't like it though and I definitely didn't like the side affects. I never got a hangover until I was about 25. They are the worst!!!!!! It turned out drinking would actually give me anxiety the next day so my once "cure" for anxiety was now creating more of it. The only option was to not drink as much or at all. My life had always had so much drinking in it though so I knew it would be rough.
A couple years ago I decided I didn't like drinking heavily anymore. Really I decided a couple years before that but it's just so easy to get sucked in when a majority of your friends also have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I know far too many people who don't know their limits and I feel we're a little old for that. People have to realize things like that on their own though so I try to mind my business.
The last year I have been doing really great. I still drink but I rarely get drunk. It's usually a social thing but I'm well aware of my limits (even if occasionally I pass them). I'm fully capable of going to a bar and just drinking a beer or even just drinking water. I don't even like bars anymore and haven't forever. These days I'd rather just go to someones house and play games or just hang out. Why do I need to spend thirty dollars at a bar where I can't hear anyone when I can get a twelve pack for thirteen and actually have a conversation with a friend? I'll also have a beer or glass of wine with dinner sometimes. My friends often bitch because I don't want to get drunk with them. Which I find really odd, am I a better person when I'm drunk? I don't need to drink to have fun, although sometimes it's a bonus.
*Tabitha and I 2008
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